Moving on | Project 365 {Days 65-71}

January 24, 2016

This blog is a part of my project 365 series. Documenting life and sharing too much, every day, for 365 days. To see more CLICK HERE

I'll never forget the night we got the keys to our house. I pulled into the garage that first night and it was an out of body experience. How am I old enough to be pulling into my own garage?? It didn't feel possible that this phase of life was here already.

I'm not sure when, but the shock eventually wore off, and this house became our home.

My oldest was just a baby when we moved here. It's all my younger two have ever known. Hell- my youngest was born in this home. My whole life, I've never lived in a house as long as we have lived here.

The space between these walls is so full.

So much laughter, so much pain, so many scratched knees in the driveway, so much beauty, so much LIFE.

This home has been such a huge blessing and arguably the biggest blessing has been the family that lives across the street. They have become our lifeline. Our kids play together almost daily. My oldest daughter's first crush lives in that home - a 5 year old ladies man - who my daughter swears she's going to marry one day (and I secretly hope she does). I know that no matter what I can walk across the street and have an amazing friend to help me when the stir - crazy loneliness of motherhood takes over. I cannot put into words how much this family has done for us over the years. We literally could not have asked for better neighbors.

But, for a multitude of reasons, we are closing this chapter. And today, as we pack our boxes and prepare for our move - I just want to honor this space, this home, this season of life. As with all big changes it is impossibly bitter sweet. This home that has been so, so good to us. Provided shelter and a safe place to rest our heads, and equally important, our hearts these past years.

I hope to never forget our first home- the countless memories and the life we built here.

*We are staying local - so no change for clients ;)

Day 65 : January 18, 2016

Day 66 : January 19, 2016

Day 67 : January 20, 2016

Day 68 : January 21, 2016

Day 69 : January 22, 2016

Day 70: January 23, 2016

Day 71 : January 24, 2015

One Day | Project 365 {Days 58-64} St. Augustine Lifestyle Photographer

January 17, 2016

This blog is a part of my project 365 series. Documenting life and sharing too much, every day, for 365 days. To see more CLICK HERE

Sometimes I lay
Under the moon
And thank God I'm breathing
Then I pray
Don't take me soon
'Cause I am here for a reason

Sometimes in my tears I drown
But I never let it get me down
So when negativity surrounds
I know some day it'll all turn around because...

All my life I've been waiting for
I've been praying for
For the people to say
That we don't wanna fight no more
There will be no more wars
And our children will play
One day

It's not about
Win or lose
'Cause we all lose
When they feed on the souls of the innocent
Blood-drenched pavement
Keep on moving though the waters stay raging

In this maze you can lose your way (your way)
It might drive you crazy but don't let it faze you, no way (no way)

Sometimes in my tears I drown (I drown)
But I never let it get me down (get me down)
So when negativity surrounds (surrounds)
I know some day it'll all turn around because...

All my life I've been waiting for
I've been praying for
For the people to say
That we don't wanna fight no more
There will be no more wars
And our children will play
One day

One day this all will change
Treat people the same
Stop with the violence
Down with the hate

One day we'll all be free
And proud to be
Under the same sun
Singing songs of freedom like
One day

"one day" -matisyahu

Day 58 : January 11, 2015

Day 59 : January 12, 2015

Day 60 : January 13, 2015

Day 61 : January 14, 2015

Day 62 : January 15, 2015

Day 63 : January 16, 2015

Day 64 : January 17, 2015

Bedtime | Project 365 {Days 51-57}

January 10, 2016

This blog is a part of my project 365 series. Documenting life and sharing too much, every day, for 365 days. To see more CLICK HERE

The day is done and it's time for sleep. . . .

My 5 year old is arguing with me about cleaning up her art project mess. My 2.5 year old is throwing a tantrum in the hall and taking her pajamas off for the 2nd time tonight. My 7 month old refuses to let me remove my breast from his mouth so I can fully attend to either of his sisters. The dogs are running around the house like maniacs and my husband is at work.

I'm sitting in the chair nursing and rocking the baby, praying he actually falls asleep. I'm pretending my tea is wine while crossing my fingers to get a call that I have a mom in labor so I can phone the babysitter and ditch this disaster.

I nurse the baby to sleep. Swap my nipple out for a paci and pray he stays passed out. . Spoiler alert: He doesn't.

I set him down to play- he crys, obviously over tired. I try to nurse him back to sleep - he opts to do yoga while nursing instead. I give him his paci and set him in the pack and play in our room.

He starts to cry instantly.

I close the door and walk away.

I retrieve my tantruming two year old from the floor and put her pajamas back on. With her on my hip I go and help my 5 year old clean up her mess, which is somehow larger then when she started 'cleaning'.

The baby is still crying in my room.

I get the girls cups of water and tuck them in. Instead of reading a bedtime story I make up the most ridiculous/pathetic "story" about a princesses and aliens. The girls share a room so after 500 questions about the princess, and aliens, and why the sky is blue, the three of us argue in circles about leaving the bedroom door open or closed. We agree to leave it open. Then they argue about leaving the hall light on or off and what noise to put on the sound machine. In an attempt to not explode into crazy yelling mom I close the door and walk away. The 2 year old starts yelling again.

I go retrieve my crying baby from the pack and play in our room. He's been crying for more then ten minutes. I bring him to our bed and attempt to nurse him to sleep yet again. He stops crying as soon as he is latched. Down the hall I eventually silence from the girls room. YES! Two down one to go!

As I nurse he starts to fall asleep. I know if I dare get up now he will wake wake up, so I turn on my phone and mindlessly scroll through Facebook while he uses me as a human pacifier.

Oh fun- an article about how letting your baby cry it out is horrible and damaging to children. More fun is the moms who chime in under the comments: "How could a mother do that to their child!?" "I could NEVER let my baby cry like that!" "That should be considered child abuse!" "When my baby cries I ALWAYS help - it's just NATURAL - how could a mother ignore their crying child??".

Half asleep my son does one of those infamous post-cry hiccups as I read.

I type "Fuck You" in the comments. Thankfully my tea wasn't really wine and I delete my comment before I hit post.

These days when I see someone being all 'holier than thou' on social media I just assume they are drunk and don't mean to be so harsh. Heaven knows I have a hard time filtering myself and can be overly intense, so I can empathize.

Share issues you care about, absolutely, but make sure you're not being an ass while doing so. You're not going to accomplish anything positive by making people feel like crap.

Day 51 : January 04, 2016

Day 52 : January 05, 2016

Day 53 : January 06, 2016

Day 54 : January 07, 2016

Day 55 : January 08, 2016

Day 56 : January 09, 2016

Day 57 : January 10, 2015