I see all of these amazing images photographers are creating and I want so badly to be able to create images like them. Dark, Moody, artsy. I could look at them all day. Visual gold. I want to be able to capture my children how they capture theirs.
But what the hell. My children are not their children. My children are LOUD and colorful. And I think trying to fit them into a creative box for the sake of “documenting them” is painfully naïve of me. Those images are stunning. And fun art to admire. They are also fun to create I am certain. But they are not our reality. They are not what life looks like for us in our bright little beach town.
Bare foot, stained clothes and un-brushed hair?? Absolutely. But when I photograph those things they don’t come out how I see other photographers documenting these things.
Where’s the line between inspiration/wanting to create certain things/ learn new tricks and staying true to yourself and your story? Art is so subjective anyhow.
Creating those images (or in my case, wanting to create them lol) is fun, exciting, feels like painting. But mentally I need to remind myself that those images are not (for us) the same as lifestyle/ documentary images.
I'll keep trying to learn this method, because challenging and pushing yourself is good. And because I enjoy it and want to master it. But with the nagging and lingering voice in the back of my head saying 'don't try to be something you're not'.
. . . Life would be so much easier if I didn't have to argue with myself / question in my head about any and everything under the sun.